I have had sleep paralysis episodes for years now. The steps for momentary cure is imprinted into my mind. Stay calm, breathe, try to a finger or just anything small, stay calm, convince yourself the hallucinations are not real, keep trying to move, don’t freak out if you fail, keep trying, stay calm. Once you can move, get up, walk a bit, drink some water. Then you try to sleep again. Back when I didn’t know what it was, the sleep paralysis was coupled with nightmares. As i got better at controlling it, there were only the hallucinations.

They had stopped for a while. Until a couple of weeks ago  It is winter now, the air is freezing. Coupled with my yet to be labelled health issues, getting out of under the blankets is near to impossible. I am also a lazy fuck.So if i wake up paralysed, I try to go back to sleep instead of trying to move. This results in hours of waking up each 15-20 minutes, each time paralysed and unable to fall asleep or wake up fully. Then comes the lucid dreaming. I can sometimes control what happens, but usually it is just going through the motions waiting for it to stop. There are no nightmares at the moment, just general things with school people and stuff I usually don’t remember.

I am almost always sleepy, possibly because of this. General tiredness of life persists of course, and will until I am done with the applications.

Started listening to an old favourite band today, here’s a song for y’all.

Art is Girls Loves Skulls by Lora Zombie.


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