***** trigger warning ****



Someone I know killed themselves yesterday.

I was supposed to draw them. Like last month, I decided to draw the person and give it to them to show my appreciation for how far they’ve come despite their mental troubles. And I didn’t, because I decided to postpone that for summer. It was supposed to be big and creative and beautiful. And it wasn’t supposed to be in loving memory of a fallen warrior.

I don’t known if I will do the drawing anymore. Don’t think so.

Scratched myself with a nail cutter. Not exactly cutting. So not exactly relapsed. I need to cry. Can’t.

Fought with my best friend on something very important. More like debate on the viewpoint of something. Something important. And though we are okay and I love  the living hell out of the person, I can’t be best friends with someone of oir views on certain specific things don’t match. I don’t know where I stand with that right now.

Mu exams are in two days. Tick tock. Will fail math.

The sweet release of death seems more and more attractive each passing day.

Going to sleep. Goodnight.



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